The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, July 25

Hello Beloved Fans of Naughty Late Night Radio,

We know why you like us. You can't help it. It's because we're your guilty pleasure, seasoned with a little pain. We're like Hard Core Porn. But for Retards.

This week is full of comics who aren't afraid to say things! Let's just say we're very short on PRUDES this week, which is ALWAYS a good thing. I can't promise that we (by "we", I mean "John") won't offend somebody this week, but I CAN promise that this group of comics is going to collectively shock the airwaves, one disturbing and seductive comment after the next. I can also promise I'll always love using ALL CAPS in my BLOGS!

Yeah this group of comics is so "open-minded" and "outspoken" that they might just make you blush like a red-headed step-penis. Go ahead and hide in your locked room with your ear phones on and your half-flaccid erection if you're embarrassed. It will feel just like the first time you saw your step-dad naked and he winked at you. Still here? If so, then you will probably like our show.

Robert Hawkins is a top-notch celebrity comedian who has been on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend as well as his own half hour special, “Robert Hawkins Live at the San Francisco Punchline” (also out on DVD), which plays regularly on Comedy Central. Hawkins worked as a sketch writer for the Johnny Steele Morning Radio Show and a clever and unique set at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal garnered him a development deal with the FOX network. Hawkins worked as a story editor for the FOX sitcom, “Titus”, where his creativity prompted the show’s producers to cast him in a recurring guest role as the lowlife brother-in-outlaw, “Michael”. Late Night with Conan O’Brien followed, along with appearances on Showtime, A&E, and The Bob and Tom Radio Show. Robert Hawkins continues to tour and has recorded two CDs: "Smackin' Kittens" and "Serious."

Next up on the JMP... Make some noise....Let 'em hear it...Put your hands together..they won't hear you but it's the thought that counts...Kelly Anneken and Cody Woods!

Kelly Anneken was raised by a pack of feral television sets on the banks of Cincinnati's Mill Creek in the mid-80s, and was later left to fend for herself throughout 12 years of Catholic school with only network television to sustain her. After a brief flirtation with piety (which ended with her introduction to basic cable), she found herself adrift in adulthood, with absolutely no marketable skills to coast on until shuffling off this mortal coil. At this critical juncture, Kelly met and married a wealthy, surprisingly attractive computer nerd named Tom. Using her intoxicating combination of airtight logic and sexuality, Kelly convinced Tom to leave behind his stable life in Ohio so that she could move to San Francisco and chase her dreams. Her dreams being, primarily, access to medical marijuana, re-electing Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger, and referring to herself in the third person. Eventually Tom humbly suggested that Kelly find new, more profitable dreams. So, after failing at every other possible form of employment, this industrious Jill-of-no-trades has opted to either make her own fortune by humorously chronicling the decline of Western culture or die trying. Confidentially, our money is on the latter.

Cody Woods is a comedian that does comedy sometimes. He is based in the San Francisco Bay Area and is being black balled in the comedy industry. If you would like to see Cody perform, just find him on Facebook at: facebook.com/i.have.balls.of.gold so you can find a gig near you that he will not be getting booked at. His material is performed mainly in a topical and intimate style and is pretty edgy. Cody Woods also runs a shithole comedy venue on Stanford campus called the "750 Pub", where comics have the privilege of being enjoyed by people who will be making up to $450,000 within the next two years and happen to be the same type of people that comics often gawked at in high school. Cody Woods is also very articulate and his vocabulary is often filled with prestigious words like "gawk" and "high school". Cody Woods is part Irish and once had a dog.

And finally, put your hands together....make some shadow puppets...for David Wiswell and Mary Van Note!

David Wiswell hit the San Francisco comedy scene in 2004. He tied for first place in MTV’s 2005 San Francisco “Yo’ Mama!” Competition. He also reached the finals of the Twisted Sea Biscuit Contest, the Brainwash Comedy Contest, and the San Francisco Comedy Club Competition. With material ranging from his love of children to his hatred of the Pope, David will display an interesting view of morality and logic that will leave you questioning both yours and his.

Mary Van Note is a stand-up comedienne of the weird variety. She performs at colleges, clubs, and festivals across the country and she is the creator and star of the award winning Independent Film Channel web series, The Mary Van Note Show: Gavin Really Wants Me. The San Francisco Bay Guardian called her a “Zine-Queen Comedian” as she regularly makes zines, crafts, and mini-comics. Her specialties are stick-figures and cross-stitch. "A Gracie Allen for the new millennium, Van Note's comedic styling is truly unique, as she combines elements of raunchy slapstick with charmingly innocent self-deprecation." - Flypmedia.com. "Kaufman-esque." - The Sound of Young America. "A true crowd pleaser." - Ian Brill.

Now then! Who's your Red-Necked Daddy and Who's your Retarded Mommy!

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, that's who.

Tune in!

Listen to the John Miller Program with Yours Truly this Saturday night from 8 pm to midnight!

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta
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That's what I'm talkin' 'bout son!