The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, November 2

Last Sunday night we were lucky to have a fascinating chat with the world's most famous houseguest and finalist in the new "Gimme My Reality Show" contest on FOX, Kato Kaelin!

We got to hear all about his recent visit to the Playboy Mansion for the Halloween Party, and we also learned Kato's opinions on the latest happenings with none other than, you guessed it, OJ Simpson! Be intrigued! Download the conversation on http://www.fccfree.com/. Big thanks to Kato Kaelin, Rob Brackenridge, Eric Steele, Justin Lamb, Chad Lehrman, Kaseem Bentley, and Jabari Davis for coming in to entertain us. As usual, we had a blast!

This week, another great line-up of jokers and jesters, starting with one very funny lady who's cooking up the comedy as well as the tasty cuisine...Cheril Vendetti!

Cheril Vendetti is a seasoned and much sought after comedienne on America’s comedy circuit, where her bookings keep her on the road for most of the year. When in Los Angeles, she is a regular at the world famous Comedy Store in Hollywood, and recently appeared in the “The Main Room,” a documentary about the club. She received a Clio award for playing an Italian cook in a Foster Farm commercial, and has appeared on HBO’s Real Sex (thankfully, fully clothed). It was on stage at NATPE where talent agent David Tenzer of CAA began to represent Miss Vendetti and her cooking show “I Got Your Recipes..Right Here!!” It was also on that stage where she got to create two TV pilots “The Queen of New Jersey” and “Queen of the Road.” Miss Vendetti has just completed a comical cookbook, “Mistress of the Mob Cuisine.”

Next up we are happy to welcome two very funny local comedians back to the studio, John Brown and Adam McLaughlin!

The city of Santa Cruz, California generates some pretty weird people and comedian John Brown certainly qualifies as one of funniest weirdos around. John represents his hometown well by amusing audiences with bizarre impressions such as E.T. (from the movie “E.T.”) and San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome. He’s also been having fun and keeping busy annoying anonymous people by making some really wild crank calls. (One might think he’s actually high on crank when making these calls, but who’s to say?) John also recently started up a comedy showcase at Boardwalk Bowl in Santa Cruz on Tuesday nights at 9 pm and he’s a regular at the San Francisco Punchline on Sunday nights.

Adam McLaughlin has been keeping audiences in stitches in shows throughout the bay area. He uses witty social satire and captivating characters to create hilariously theatrical performances that leave audiences cheering for more. Adam is regular at the San Francisco Comedy College Clubhouse, where he co-hosts the Scantily Clad Comedy showcase and teaches stand-up comedy classes to teenagers (http://www.kidscomedy.org/). He has written and appeared in numerous videos on seesmic.com and is a semi-finalist in the Rooster T. Feathers Comedy Competition.

And finally...what do Sia Amma and Ben Feldman share in common? Well…let’s see..they’re both comedians…they both enjoy discussing women’s sexuality…and…well, they’re both circumcised.

Sia Amma has been featured on KQED two times and has been quoted in comedy clubs around the Bay Area more times than any other comedian. In her shows, Sia examines sexual attitudes towards women's sexuality and empowers and educates the general public on the issue of female circumcision. In 1998, she started touring the country with her one-woman show called "In Search of My Clitoris" and "Clitoris Celebration -- Think Outside the Box”. Her shows are a clever combination of stand-up comedy and theater that is funny, playful, and sexuality informative. Sia's newest presentation geared towards mothers and daughters is called "What Mama Said About Down There." Sia also produces and hosts many shows throughout the week at Our Little Theater in San Francisco.

Ben Feldman is four parts white on his parents side. He was born with taste buds on his penis (which is usually quite enjoyable to him except when he burns it on pizza). He is a very popular local comedian in the San Francisco Bay Area and he hosts and runs several shows, including the monthly comedy showcase, “Laugh Orgy”, which happens the second Wednesday of every month at San Francisco’s Grant & Green Saloon. He also hosts "The Joke Show" on Tuesday nights at the same saloon. Hey, you know if you are going to a "saloon" you are going to have fun. Ben has also produced and hosted several other recurring or one-time comedy shows over the years. Ben is truly edgy and shocking, some would say disturbing, but we say he’s delightful.

Now drop and give me twenty. Not push-ups...dollars.
Unless you Really want to do 20 push-ups.
In that case, make sure you are naked and on top of me.

Tune in! Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATECATRADIO.COM, THEJOHN MILLERPROGRAM.COM and FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in or I'll bite your nipple. 415-341-1199.

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, October 26

What’s the deal with comedians getting punched in the face???

On Sunday night, one of our local comedians and esteemed peers came into the studio with a big ole' SHINER! Can you guess which of our comedian friends CORRECTED THE ENGLISH of a homeless guy in San Francisco and then got cracked in the face? Your choices include Bernie Lubbers, Kurt Weitzman, Amir Malekepour, David “The Wiz” Wiswell, and Nathan Jackson. So who do you think got the beat down? Download the last show at www.fccfree.com to find out. Then please go and buy him a beer and a really sensitive Hallmark card.

This Sunday night (drum roll please...).......KATO KAELIN's coming back on the show! Kato is currently working on getting his own reality show with FOX reality channel's "GIMME MY REALITY SHOW". We want everyone to tell their friends and families to check out Kato's new 90-second viral video then vote for him! Voting starts this Sunday, Oct. 26th until Nov. 2. Please, loyal listeners, help our buddy out. Watch and vote for Kato Kaelin.

Also on the program this Sunday night, we welcome the very funny, Rob Brackenridge!

Always the class clown (and spending most of his formative years in the principal's office), Rob Brackenridge was destined to become a comedian. Born and raised in Wisconsin, Rob has been based out of Los Angeles since 1992 and spends most of the year on the road, "bringing the funny" to audiences around the world. He tours regularly for the U.S. troops on the Miller Lite "Lite Laffs" program, and his television credits include Comedy Central's “Make Me Laugh” and “Stand-Up, Stand-Up”. He is a favorite at the Improv, the Comedy Store, and Catch a Rising Star.

Next up on the JMP, we are pleased to bring you a very funny radio personality and comedian – Eric “The Real Deal, Man of Steele”!

Born and raised in the capital of the corn-belt, Iowa, Eric Steele graduated from a St. Ambrose University on the border of Iowa and Illinois where he got his start in radio at his college radio station. KRTY's resident rocker worked at rock stations in Iowa before making the leap to LA to pursue comedy gold. In 2006, he moved to the bay area. After hearing about a talent competition KRTY was doing at Club Rodeo, Eric performed and won a qualifying week. He turned his win into a promotional job and then triumphantly resurrected his radio career. His main goal is to have fun while entertaining KRTY's loyal listeners. His life is lived to make people smile. You can also see Eric do stand-up comedy at many of the bay area comedy clubs. His business card describes him best "Writer, Comedian, Golden Voice, and Lover?"

And finally, we are pleased to bring you -- Chad Lehrman and Justin Lamb!

After 9/11, Chad Lehrman decided to make some changes in his life. He had been doing some web design for the Taliban in Afghanistan when he realized “Hey I'm an American Jew. How did I get here?” So he got the hell out of there before the U.S. came and he went up to Uzbekistan. Unhappy there, he took the next camel he could find to Kyrgyzstan. He had some women troubles there and stole a van to Tajkistan. He kept going and ended up full-circle back in Afghanistan. He was running low on funds so he caught a cheap flight to Barcelona where life is a lot more simple and he has a really big TV and high speed internet and a neat game on his cell phone. Plus, he found a kind Spanish woman with large breasts who really understands him.

Justin Lamb is a San Francisco based stand-up comedian. He was a top 10 finalist in the 2008 Rooster T. Feather’s comedy competition and is member of the comedy group SPF7. He dreams of one day having the time to care for a pet.

Put your feet up and place them firmly in the stirrups.
Open your legs wiiiide, that’s it... yes, that’s good!
Now scoot your bottom all the way forward on the table please.

Tune in! Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATECATRADIO.COM, THEJOHN MILLERPROGRAM.COM and FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in already, Punk Bee-yotch! 415-341-1199.

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, October 19

If I had just one day off, I’d grab a pillow and blanket and curl up into one of Chris Storin’s dimples and take a long and peaceful nap. Chris has more dimples than Oprah’s ass, OK?

Chris is also funnier than most people, so it doesn’t matter that you can’t see his dimples through the radio. However, just you knowing that he has the best dimples on the planet is satisfying enough for me. I don’t even care if you understand how funny he is. But if you care about feeling happy inside and if you enjoy the feeling of genuine laughter, download the latest show at www.fccfree.com.

We also had a lot of laughs with the writer for the Jay Leno show, Phil Perrier from Hollywood! He’s not only funny but he can be really gross, and John and I absolutely love that. (Grosser the better.) We also had on the lovely and talented Kenny Altman and the weird and wonderful Danny Dechi!

Guess what?!

I got to sexually violate Danny Dechi’s asshole with a #2 pencil! Don't get upset, I put the eraser part in first, not the sharpened part. I just wanted to see if it really was truly a “Number 2” pencil. Turns out, not only did I learn that it was, indeed, a real Number 2 pencil, but I also learned that I can play KC & The Sunshine Band’s “Shake Your Booty” pretty well inside Danny’s ass! God, I am so talented. A musical genius!

Just kidding. I went nowhere near Danny Dechi's asshole. (I asked him if I could, but he said No.)

First up on the JMP this Sunday night, we'll chat with Bernie Lubbers! Bernie is a hilarious national touring comedian, public speaker, and corporate humorist, and he's the famous Whiskey Professor! As Whiskey Professor, Bernie speaks and presents for KNOB CREEK and Beam Global Sprits & Wine. He's the celebrity face of the brands for the east coast and presents to national media as well as whiskey and bourbon festivals in Kentucky, New York, Philadelphia, Tampa and Southern Florida, Tennessee, and many other cities. Bernie's also done numerous national/regional television and radio shows, such as The Bob & Tom Show, where he's been a regular guest for more than 12 years (6 million listeners nationwide).

Now get ready to babysit with us, we have some children comedians coming to the show. Well, they aren’t really children really, but …pretty fuckin’ close. I am not even sure we can say “fuckin’” around them. FUCK!!! (Sorry.)

Nathan Jackson is a young and very funny up-and-coming stand-up comedian in the San Francisco scene, performing at clubs and colleges between California and New York. His unique twists on everyday observations and social commentary will be sure to have you laughing. Nathan was a finalist in the San Francisco Comedy Competition, beating out over 90 other comics, and he has also performed with big names such as Arj Barker. And..on a separate note...Nathan is so white, he could be my brother. Good thing the walls are painted black at the radio studio and not white or we'd never find him! This guy is so Republican, he could be my father! This guy is so young, he's even too young for me!

At just 20 years old, the next Barely Legal comic on the show is named David Wiswell. Young David hit the San Francisco comedy scene in 2004. Since then, he tied for first place in MTV’s 2005 San Francisco “Yo’ Mama!” Competition. He also reached the finals of the Twisted Sea Biscuit Contest, the Brainwash Comedy Contest, and the San Francisco Comedy Club Competition. With material ranging from his love of children to his hatred of the Pope, David displays an interesting view of morality and logic that will leave you questioning both yours and his. David will be recording his independent comedy album “Damn Glad to be Here!” so come see the sensation that’s been sweeping the floor.

Also joining us this week, a favorite of the JMP, wacky and wonderful Kurt Weitzman alongside sweet and silly Amir Malekepour!

Amir Malekpour's comedy ranges from intellectual to the absurd. Growing in a diverse family and educational background, his comedy has developed into a unique perspective that has been making audiences laugh in clubs and colleges. His mix of high energy, unique perspective, friendly nature, and smart writing cover such topics as family, relationships, arts, sciences, health, and everyday quirks.

Kurt Weitzmann has been performing comedy for over 15 years and his act has been seen on Comedy Central, MTV, and on the stages of every San Francisco comedy club ever to come or go. Kurt Weitzmann created, edited, and produced the ingenious "SF Weakly", a highly celebrated parody of the SF Weekly, for which he was labeled a comic genius by non other than The SF Weekly. Kurt Weitzmanns comedy sketch album TALENTED is now available on AMERICAN DREAMS RECORDS. Kurt is also the producer of the new hit film "Last Call" and co-creator of the very popular and funny "Jesus Roast" and "Hitler Roast". Kurt is also a regular performer at the SF Punchline.

Shake what your mama gave ya. (But please don't knock my eye out.)

Tune in! Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATECATRADIO.COM, THEJOHN MILLERPROGRAM.COM and FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in at 415-341-1199! Don't freak out. It's easy. One hand goes on your phone, the other hand goes on your weiner.

Or, just use your Bluetooth device. One hand goes on your weiner, the other hand goes on your steering wheel. (Why do you think they came up with the Hands-Free law?)

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, October 12

Do you want to know if you spent your time wisely last Sunday night? Take a close look at your radio. Is it sticky? No? Then you obviously didn’t hear the whole radio show.

Go grab a towel, grab that bottle of kissable cherry-flavored massage oil, then download the hotness and hilarity of our wonderful night with Steve Caminiti, Chris Hymes, Dave Burleigh, and Squid (www.fccfree.com). Our guests made us laugh so hard, our cheeks hurt! (Our faces were pretty sore too.)

This Sunday night we honor Joan Rivers on her birthday! We’ll be celebrating in style with both comedy and fashion, darling. That’s right, we’ll be striking poses with clown noses. We’ll be sporting the latest fall fashions, such as timeless, eye-catching pieces from our own private collections including pre-shrunk cotton, stoner-washed denim, and eco-friendly hemp sweat-suits. High fashion baby! We’ll also strut around wearing QVC bling.

First up on the JMP, Phil Perrier from Hollywood is back on the show!

Phil Perrier is a hilarious national touring stand-up comedian and writer for the Jay Leno show. He started with All Comedy Radio in the spring of 2003 and was syndicated on 37+ stations in the United States, 23+ stations in Canada, and one station in South Africa. He is best known for the Hollywood Report "Limited Access", Recurring Sketches: "Interview with a Dead Guy", "Celebrity Sodium Pentothal", "Wisdom of the Ages, with Ceepak Okra", and "Oblivious Witness to History". In 1990, Phil started writing jokes for Jay Leno & "The Tonight Show" and still to this day writes for Jay. In 1999, he started writing for his first Nationally Syndicated radio show "Bob and Tom's Big Show”. In 2001, he began writing for Martin Short and "The Martin Short Show". Ten years after he started writing for Jay Leno, Phil Perrier also started writing for David Letterman & "The Late Show". Phil still writes for both shows. Phil has also been a columnist for many newspapers including the L.A. Daily News, Washington Times, San Francisco Examiner, Baltimore Sun, Philadelphia Inquirer, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Birmingham News, JewishWorldReview.com and, last but not least, he was a Staff Writer for the Athens (Ga.) Observer from 1993-2000.

Next up on the program, we welcome Butch Escobar!

Butch Escobar hosts a kick-ass monthly showcase at the San Jose Improv on the 4th Wednesday of every month called “Butch Escobar’s Unfiltered Underground.” Butch also has hosted and featured in Big Al’s Big Ass Comedy Show, another great show you can catch at the Improv. You can see Butch perform at other great venues around the South Bay and it’s a guarantee that any of the shows he’s involved in is going to be a great time. Butch is great—he tells it like it is and does not censor himself by any means. And, it’s a well known fact, we’re all about not censoring yourself on the JMP. We can’t wait to talk about anything and everything with him!

Rounding off the evening, we have Danny Dechi and Kenny Altman on the show!

Danny Dechi's stand-up comedy has been described as Woody Allen doing vaudeville. His humor, most often directed at himself, is a quirky combination of clean comedy and a unique #2 pencil musical act. Danny arrived to the Bay Area from Argentina when he was only 6 years old. His grandfather moved to Argentina because he heard America is a land of opportunity. Unfortunately, he had the wrong America. The experience of growing up in San Francisco has warped Danny Dechi forever. He's been an enthusiastic element of San Francisco's weird and wonderful performing scene for more than 7 years. He can perform any tunes, from rock-n-roll to classical pieces, by drumming a #2 pencil on his cheek, and is considering recording his first musical CD. Danny is the author of the hilarious book: "I Didn't Want to Pay for a Rent-A-Car". Danny was also inducted into the 24th edition of “Who’s Who in the East”.

Kenny Altman is a gay, religious, rock and roll Jew, and he misses his 1975 Toyota Corolla and his house in New Jersey! He smokes one cigarette a year, and he really, really, really enjoys that one cigarette! He’s due for another one around June '09. He is San Francisco's only stand-up comic and Torah Trope instructor. Really, do you need to know more than that?!

Squat down over my camera and let me take a picture. (But please don't say "Cheese".)

Tune in!

Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATECATRADIO.COM, THEJOHN MILLERPROGRAM.COM and FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in at 415-341-1199! Your father didn't raise no pussy. (He didn't get any either.)