The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, April 17

OK kids, you have some choices for what to do tonight. You can go out and waste your money and health by going out and getting drunk and/or high, you can go on a date with some weirdo Internet freak (or your significan--or insignificant--other), you could stay clean and sober tonight and be productive in some way, or you could go fuck yourself. Nothing personal, I'm just saying you have choices. I personally recommend the first choice, listening to the most hilarious comedy talk radio show on the planet, which airs tonight from 8 pm to midnight on 107.3 FM in San Francisco and live on www.fccfree.com.

Our first guest is a geek, musician, wannabe writer, atheist, Web Monkey, loudmouth, Passionate Indie Liberal, and bringer of sanity to an insane fundie world. His name is Eric Jacobson, a.k.a. "The Lost Prophyt". Check out his blog called "Ramblings of the Mind of a Social Outcast". (Wow, that sounds just like our show!)

Now for our next guest. He's a little crazy, more than weird, very freakish, but a funny character and well, he's extremely "alternative"...Oh. Let me remind you folks...this IS an ALTERNATIVE comedy radio show...so let us welcome back to the program the infamous but hilarious Chris Schiappacasse!

My old friend and cohort in crime, Chris Schiappacasse truly exists outside the establishment. He is coming back to shock and disturb our listeners. He is our "special" guest. His last name is 13 letters long. He has a 7- foot bong. Not only that...he has THREE testicles, people. (I'm betting he can hold that bong up pretty well on that huge, 3-ball sack of his!) He likes to discuss matters of weed and hookers openly. He has been featured in the soon-to-be-famous "Hanging Out" videos with Vahe Hovak. Ladies and gentleman, may we introduce to you a legend in his own mind, the wonderfully infamous (and famous to a select few) Chris Schiappacasse. (That's "Skah - Pah - KAH *- Say" although I say "Shee-Yah- Pah - KAH* - Say).

Also on the show...Vahe Hova. Comedian. Producer. Up-and-Coming YouTube Sensation. Sidekick. Vahe is all of those things and more. But most importantly, Vahe is this hot, young dude with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. (Sorry, Vahe, I write the bios around here and I'm a dirty ole' cougar.) Anyway, Vahe makes these videos about hanging out with comedians in the SF comedy community called "Hangin' Out." (Do a search on YouTube: Vahe Hovak, Hanging Out.) In these videos, Vahe captures the true essence of each featured comedian by revealing them relaxing in their natural environments, just talking about whatever comes to mind, much like we do here on the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta. Comedians are at their funniest when they aren't being pressured to perform--they're simply "Hanging Out" and being themselves. This is when their natural talent comes forth and they reveal their funniest true selves. Vahe creates, edits, stars in, and produces these outlandishly fun and funny videos and in my mind, these are destined to become viral videos--world-wide, internet sensations.

Drew Pult is just a funny-ass cripple trying to take the ramp to the top. An elevator would work too, just no stairs. He has the ambition of a young Bill Gates and the mobility of a young redwood. Drew Pult does stand-up in a wheelchair. Now THAT'S funny! Drew is a regular headliner at Tommy T's Comedy Club as well as many other venues throughout the Bay Area and also is co-host of the hot new comedy talk radio show Antithesis Radio, which airs on Friday nights at 10 PM on our home station, FCCFREERADIO, 107.3 FM in San Francisco.

And finally, we are thrilled to have the very funny and sexy, nationally touring celebrity stand-up comedian Laurie Kilmartin in the studio!

Laurie Kilmartin was born and raised in a dull, Northern California suburb. A former competitive swimmer (she swam for UCLA), Laurie made the switch from pool to stage in the early nineties, during San Francisco's comedy boom, and then headed for New York. In 2002, she became a staff writer for Comedy Central's "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn." Laurie has also been seen on the Jimmy Kimmel, Comedy Central, and Showtime. Furthermore, she made appearances on The Rachel Maddow Show, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, VH1's Best Week Ever, and Oprah. She has written for CBS's "The Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson", Comedy Central's "Too Late w/Adam Carolla" and "Tough Crowd w/Colin Quinn," and NBC's "Last Comic Standing" Laurie performed at the Montreal, Aspen and Edinburgh comedy festivals. Regarding her performance at Edinburgh, the Guardian UK said, "She's the best comedian we've seen so far. She throws away lines most comedians would die for." She lives with her accidental son in New York City.

Are you ready for Too Much Information? We are.

Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Saturday night from 8 pm to midnight!

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta

Saturday Nights 8 PM - 12 AM
Mornings, Monday thru Friday 6 AM - 10 AM

FCCFREE RADIO 107.3 FM
SAN FRANCISCO'S ALTERNATIVE RADIO

On the web at:
http://fccfreeradio.com/
http://fccfree.com/
http://thejohnmillerprogram.com/
http://susanmaletta.com/
http://myspace.com/fccfree
http://youtube.com/fccfree

Call in (415) 513-5239.
Got Balls? Chris has 3 of them, so if you don't have any, he can spare you one.

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, April 10

Did you know that April 10 is Baby Massage Day? In honor of the growing trend of baby massage, this day serves to increase awareness of the practice that is so beneficial to babies. What? You don't have a baby to massage? No problem! Just come on over to the studio tonight and massage John! He could really use the pampering and TLC. (I mean THC.)

And hey. If you can't make it to the studio, then fine. Celebrate by yourself. Massage somethin' else, if you know what I'm sayin'. Then tune in to the soothing sounds of bay area comedians whispering sweet ha ha's in your ear. Did you know that smiling and laughing go hand in hand with relaxation? It's cathartic!

Without further ado, coming to the program tonight...

Burtis Cutler (A.K.A. "The World's Shortest Redneck") has stocked up his trailer and packed up his cooler with dozens of fishing lines and dozens more punch lines. He's so funny he makes us spit foamy Coors out of our noses! Wonderfully delightful and down-to-earth, expect a lot of laughs from Burtis Cutler as he shares with us many hilarious tales from life in the south.

Whether it's the light-hearted and goofy side of life, or the dark and mundane, chances are Dan Fuckin' Wilson will find a way to put a humorous twist on the topic. Dan's comedy is a no-holds-barred look at everything from politics and pop culture, to relationships and his own family life. Being a native of the San Francisco Bay Area has given his comedy a diverse edge with a unique viewpoint that few other comedians share. Mix his personal take on the world with a high-energy delivery that few are able to match, and you get an explosive look at the world through the eyes of one of the most entertaining performers to come out of the bay area in many years.

Dan makes his home in the East Bay, and is a regular performer at some of the biggest clubs around Northern California. Dan recently taped an episode of Creepy KOFY movie time that aired on January 23rd on KOFY TV 20, Cable 13. Dan also had a small cameo role in the movie "The Snake", which featured at the SXSW Film Festival and the Sundance Film Festival. It is now available on Netflix, Itunes, and Amazon.com. You can catch Dan Wilson on Thursday, March 4th at Rooster T. Feather's with Ian Bagg.

Carolé Acuña has performed stand-up comedy on the east and west coasts of the United States and also in Sevilla, Spain! She is very animated, expressive, physical, and has an original comedic style. Much of her subject matter encompasses anything from raw food dieting to Narwhals. Much of Carolé's movement has some naturally expressive body positioning since she has been formally dancing since the age of five and is a fifth generation dancer in her family. The comedic juices flow through her mind and soul into to the audience's spleen. Carolé consistently performs in showcases all around the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. "Acuña expertly raises one eyebrow and with her chin up, she balances on a three-inch stiletto heel. Suddenly, the comedienne slumps, lowering her foot and eyebrow simultaneously as she delivers her punchline on stage in front of a laughing audience." ... Janice De Jesus, Performing Arts Critic, Contra Costa Times.

Phil Johnson isn’t angry. Even when he’s screaming at the audience in the guise of a schizo killing his girlfriend or a jilted lover insulting every bit of his ex-lover’s femininity, it’s done with a warmth and a knowing glance that it’s all in good fun. It communicates to the audience that no matter what problems they’re going through, there’s always someone even more screwed up than them. Phil Johnson is, in fact, a raging optimist. And better yet, it’s all set to music. Phil Johnson deftly wields his guitar, spinning out one funny scenario after another. Far beyond the strumming/storytelling and parody style of other comedians his songs are all original, and written to include the music as an integral part of the story. His shows have been called “choreographed frenzy” and his easy, mellow command of the stage turns completely demented on a dime. It’s a show with variety, energy, and originality that definitely pushes the boundaries. With years of experience leading his band Roadside Attraction, a college degree in music, and his activities in film and TV, Phil Johnson knows well what it takes to entertain an audience. But beyond just entertainment, Phil seeks to actually communicate something important… That life is just not as serious as we all think.

Now break out the Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil. Then break out your Johnson. (Especially you, Phil Johnson!) Then tune in!

Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Saturday night from 8 pm to midnight!

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta

Saturday Nights 8 PM - 12 AM
Mornings, Monday thru Friday 6 AM - 10 AM

FCCFREE RADIO 107.3 FM
SAN FRANCISCO'S ALTERNATIVE RADIO

On the web at:
http://fccfreeradio.com/
http://fccfree.com/
http://thejohnmillerprogram.com/
http://susanmaletta.com/
http://myspace.com/fccfree
http://youtube.com/fccfree

Call in (415) 513-5239.
Don't be a baby.
Waaaaa!