The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, August 31

It's a good thing I wore my lucky yellow panties to the radio show last week, because I laughed so hard, I peed in my pants! I mean, I'm not really sure if I peed....all I know is… suddenly I felt a really comfortable and warm sensation between my legs. Maybe it was pee, maybe it was something else! I'm just not sure. So, thanks to Will Franken, Scotch Wichmann, Grant Lyon, and Sal Calanni for giving me a rush of excitement that I won’t soon forget. Get excited. Go to http://www.fccfree.com/ and download last week's show.

Next week we have more heavy hitters, yep, an all-star line-up of professional, touring headliners and it will be a night of music, comedy, and learning about comedy and what it takes to succeed from some of the BEST in the business. I am actually getting nervous because I have been a huge fan of each of these comedians for a very long time. I used to watch 3 of them over at Rose & Crown when I was first starting out in comedy and every Monday night was spent laughing my head off. (Thanks to Drennon Davis, Jason Downs, Dave Burleigh, and John Hoogasian for being brilliant.)

First up, we have a favorite of the JMP, Kira Soltanovich. Born in the former Soviet Union, and raised by immigrant parents in San Francisco, Kira Soltanovich has plenty to laugh about. "Like most kids, my parents took me to Disneyland …not for the rides, for the lines. They assumed there’d be food at the end of them." Kira was a series regular for four seasons on Girls Behaving Badly, and has also appeared on such shows as Jimmy Kimmel Live, 3rd Rock From The Sun, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Next up on the JMP, we are delighted to have the fiercely talented, musically gifted, and extremely funny Drennon Davis alongside the adorable, lovable, charming, and super-hilarious Jason Downs!

Drennon Davis is a local celebrity. He was on Last Comic Standing, is a featured comedian on the front page of ComedyTimetv.com, is a regular at the San Francisco Punchline and the Hollywood Improv (and many other great clubs), is the creator/animator of the hilarious cartoon called “The Peeper and Giney Show”, is a featured performer in the Adolph Hitler Roast, and will soon be taking the stage at Comedy Day 2008 in San Francisco.

As a child, Jason Downs would sneak away in the middle of the night to watch The Tonight Show. Jason's dreams would come true after graduating San Francisco State University with $30,000 of debt and no job skills. Beginning his comedy career in San Francisco, Jason has become among the best comics in the bay area. Like his influences, Eddie Murphy and Sam Kinison, Jason draws his material from his personal life. While on stage, Jason shares his dramatic and outrageous stories with the audience. A unique likeability allows Jason to confess his greatest flaws in an original, aggressive, and hilarious act. A good heart and a bad mouth allows Jason to share his story of a know-it-all who knows nothing.

And finally, we are more than thrilled to bring you an amazing talent, he’s a master impressionist, and really, really good looking…Dave Burleigh with his sidekick Squid on guitar! When Dave Burleigh enters the JMP, I am going to SQUID right off my chair.

(Hmmm…I’m starting to realize that I need a man. *Sigh*)

Dave Burleigh has been amazing audiences literally all over the world with his clever and clean comedy for over 15 years. He has recently joined forces with two other successful comedians to create the Three of a Kind Comedy Tour. Dave has taken the lost art form of impressions to a new level by often inviting the crowd to offer up requests during his stand up routine, and is always looking to add new and current voices to his act. This rising star who has opened for Robin Williams, Dana Carvey, and George Lopez covers such topics as current events, sports, politics, music and everyday life, usually while incorporating one of his spot-on impressions.

Tune in! And CALL IN during Dave Burleigh's segment. CHALLENGE HIM by making requests for unique celebrity voices.

Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATERADIO.COM or FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in 415-341-1199. Don't be scurrrred.

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, August 24

August 24th is historically a famous day. You see, we don't just educate you on matters of comedy and sexual deviance, we are sophisticated and intelligent life forms with much more depth to us than you can possibly imagine. In other words, we know how to Google shit.

Now on to your history lesson.

On August 24th, A.D. 79, Mount Vesuvius erupted, burying the Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum in volcanic ash and killing 20,000. On August 24th, 1932, Amelia Earhart made her journey as the first woman to fly across the United States. But most notably, and of profound historical significance, on August 24th, 1973...Dave Chappelle was born. Happy Birthday Dave Chappelle!!! We celebrate you Dave, we celebrate Italy's rich soil for growing tomatoes (and hot men), and Amelia's flying the friendly skies.

Our first guest is Will Franken. Franken’s humor is rooted in the British sketch comedy tradition. Onstage, he portrays an eclectic mix of characters through a series of interconnected vignettes. His skits are often satirical, skewering a range of subcultures and political views. In 2005, the SF Weekly selected Franken as Best Comedian, the San Francisco Bay Guardian calls him the Best Alternative to Psychedelic Drugs, and Tribe.net named him one of the Top 25 People to Watch nationwide.

Next up, a JMP favorite! Tony Sparks, known to all in the SF area as the Father of SF Comedy, is one of the nicest and funniest comedians you can meet. He's also one of the best comedy hosts you could be entertained by. Wonderfully supportive to comics of all levels (newbies to veterans), he helps make stage time available to anyone who wants it. Tony Sparks is a class act when it comes to professionalism, supporting the comedy community, and bringing non-stop laughs and fun to us all. He hosts a hugely popular open mic in the SF bay area, the famed Brain Wash Café in San Francisco. This is where NO ONE gets turned down for stage time. Tony enlists the entire audience, every week, to welcome every new comedian with “A Lot of Love!!!” What? "A LOT OF LOVE!!!!!!" Tony Sparks can also be found performing comedy and emceeing shows all over the place, and he produces and promotes several shows himself.

Also on the show, we have Scotch Wichmann, a rising stand-up comedian who's zany work has been described as "eating, snorting, and freebasing . . . then reaching for the turkey baster" by the SF Chronicle. With hilariously real, raw, and spazzy takes on everything from bosses with mullets to kooky psychiatrists, he's appeared on stages like New York City's famous Gotham Comedy Club and can be seen cutting his chops weekly at San Francisco's underground Comedy Clubhouse. Scotch got his start as a writer and performance artist with his live works appearing at the L.A. Performing Arts Center, MOCA, LACE, HIGHWAYS, Santa Monica Museum of Art, DA Gallery, the Claremont Graduate School, and the University of California. A former protégé of 1970s L.A. performance art cult figure John White, Scotch co-founded L.A.'s improv Kung Fu Theatre and Fisheye Mongrel groups in the mid-90s and he works increasingly in film and TV—he played an overgrown sex baby in the indie OUTER SUNSET (2007), and literally folded himself into a killer's suitcase for the late-night TV commercial HACKSAW that received high marks from SHOOT Magazine. Following a two-year stint as a radio announcer for 1340 KKAM in Fresno, California, Scotch moved to San Francisco's untamed Tenderloin district where he helped attract a swarm of press from CNN, NBC, FOX, NPR, Maxim, the Washington Post, and the New York Times as the junkie spokesman for cracked-out coffee company Meth Coffee.

In the second hour, Grant Lyon returns the JMP with Sal Calanni!

Oscillating between moments of hyperactivity and a laid-back surfer attitude, Grant Lyon reveals his sixth grade personality on the stage. He discovered stand-up while playing collegiate soccer at UC Santa Cruz, and unfortunately for his soccer coach, the passion of his life changed. Grant has entertained at many venues in the Bay Area, including the San Francisco Punchline, Pepperbelly’s, and Rooster T. Feathers. Oh yeah, and Grant's a total hottie.

Although the picturesque views of the Bay paled in comparison to the waterways of Cleveland, Sal Calanni calls it home and finds solace in stand-up comedy. Sal enjoys describing his Sicilian family as he magically morphs in and out of characters right before your eyes. He also expresses his opinions about race, politics, life, and anything else that should probably never be discussed over a bottle of whiskey. Sal has appeared at the Punchline, Cobb's Comedy Club, and many more venues. And what a renaissance man! Not only is Sal a great stand-up comedian, he is also a comedy instructor at the San Francisco Comedy College, and he's a singer/guitarist/songwriter and member of the garage/punk band the Hacks! Sal is also a founding member of sketch group Tossing Alice.

It's completely uncensored, explicit, and raw. It's hilarious. It's the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta. (She's the female-version of Howard Stern. She's like Howard Stern, but with big titties.)

Tune in this Sunday night at 10pm to midnight!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or PIRATECATRADIO.COM or FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!

Call in (that is, if you think you have the guts!) 415-341-1199

The John Miller Program with Susan Maletta, Aug. 10 and Aug. 17

Hello Sweet Listeners...

For the next two Sundays, we will play shows from our Best of the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta archive. These upcoming shows are precious and wonderful, much like crack babies...but without the babies.

Highlights of the next two shows---

Sunday, August 10th: Kato Kaelin, Jeremy Brigham, Edward Hermman, Suzanna the Psychic, and Susan's Favorite Comics: Anthony Hill and Deb Campo.

Sunday, August 17th: Burtis Cutler--the World's Shortest Redneck, Gail Jones--the Sex Therapist and Southern Belle, Fuckin' Dan Fuckin' Wilson, and the Sexy and Freaky-Deaky Lindsay Blaz!

Be entertained. Be amused. Be aroused.

Listen to the John Miller Program with Susan Maletta this Sunday night at 10pm!

87.9 FM in San Francisco and Los Angeles or on the web at PIRATECATRADIO.COM, THEJOHNMILLERPROGRAM.COM and FCCFREE.COM every Sunday night at 10pm!